Machinery has been a bit of a problem these last few nights.

So, the new ambulances we've got, well, I say new. They're about a year old now and starting to show their age. They have a snazzy feature which means that when you open the fuel cap lid it reminds you not to use petrol.

This handy feature was slightly broken on the ambulance we've been using. I'll give you an example:

So there we were in the wee small hours. We've pulled up outside a block of flats. All is quiet. All is dark. We are there to pick up a woman who a GP wants in Hospital. We leave the vehicle and ring the bell to get in the flat.

And the Ambulance shouts "Caution. Diesel fuel only."

Twice

Lights come on in the flats.

As we drive along it takes to shouting at passers by. But it doesn't get it all out. So there are people walking along the road, minding their own business. An ambulance drives past and a voice shouts "K-K-K."
 
If you don't hear it properly it sounds a bit rude.

Back in the garage it starts rapping to itself.

We have sat-nav in the vehicles but the local toe-rags have realized this and decided to help them selves when they can. As they are very stupid all they steal are the display units as the rest is built in. So now most of the vehicles don't have sat-nav anymore.

They are being put back in slowly. Our vehicle had the display put back in however the engineer hadn't put the new remote in, and for some reason the display didn't work.

The voice was american. "Have a nice day"

And she wouldn't shut up.

And to finish everything off We were loading in an old lady with breathing difficulties and my phone started singing "Mr Hanky- the Christmas Poo"

It's been wierd.

Oh yes. I have discovered something I didn't know. Its called the Bristol Stool Scale. And, yes, thats what it sounds like. Someone has calibrated different  forms of poo into 7 different varieties. Google it if you don't belive me

I'm going to bed. Night