Today has been really, really busy. We haven't seen anyone else all day. Even at casualty, which I think we managed to fill by ourselves (virtually), we didn't see any other crews.

The first job was unusual. A builder was moving a piece of glass and, it was old glass, it shattered in his hands. A large piece of it dropped and sliced his stomach. Luckily it just went through the top layer. It looked worse than it was. Stomach skin ends to be under a bit of tension so it had pulled back showing a bit of his fat layer.

Then people started falling over. A lady had bad rheumatoid arthritus. During the night her sleep was disturbed because she was in a lot of pain. She thought lieing on the floor would help. She then found that she couldn't get up again. Her daughter found her at lunch time. We arrived and got her off the floor. Her daughter was quite anxious for her to go to casualty. She didn't want to go and I didn't see any point in taking her as she wasn't injured.

Then to another guy. He had Parkinsons Disease and had gone into the garden to pick some roses for his wife. He had fallen over and his wife, who was also disabled, hadn't noticed. 3 hours he was in the garden, he actually fell asleep. He managed to crawl into the kitchen and his wife called us.
 
Then people had Hypos. One of the local drunks got all dizzy, weak and sweaty. He was trying to give up the booze and hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Gave him some glucose and he was right as rain.

Another lady at a psychotherapy clinic. She was a diabetic and knew what a hypo felt like. She was sucking on wethers aorginals to get her blood sugar up, so we let her carry on.
 
Then people started having fits, always at the upmarket shopping centre in the town. Don't know why, but there you go.

So just a taster there of what we've done today. Nothing spectacular.

Oh yes, The next person who advises me that a chair will be needed to get their relative downstairs will be lambasted verbally

This morning the weather was nice. Sunny and warm for a change. There wasn't a great deal going on in the county.

Cue biblical voice

Yay and many staff were on base. They had toiled for a good part of the morning. And everything was clean and did sparkle
Much laughter and merriment issued forth, for they were happy and content in their lot.
 And Lo, the boss came amongst them and said unto them," Go forth to the garage where are parked the ambulances and look at it."
And the staff were not happy but got up and went to look upon the garage. They saw that it was clean
And they said unto each other "Why are we here?" and "Bugger this for a game of soldiers. We're off"
And they went to a layby and were content .

So anyway, this afternoon we got called to a school. Schools out, as the song says, but the sports hall was being used for community trampoline practice. I didn't realize there was such a thing but there you go.

On the way, we remembered that we had done a similer job a few months ago. A young girl on a trampoline. 

In we go and there is an 11 year old girl lieing still on a trampoline. She had fallen badly on her neck. I go and have a little chat with her. This meant climbing on the trampoline. Not good for two reasons: Firstly I didn't want to bounce her about too much if she had hurt her neck and secondly I'm not good climbing on things.

Anyway, I got up with minimal bounce and made my way (gently) across to her. She was scared but was being very brave. I had a feel of her neck and the pain appeared to be in the middle of her neck, right at the base of her skull. Now this could mean that she had damaged her neck and spine. Not having seen her fall, we had to assume she had.  

We used a spinal immobilisation collar and slid her gently off the trampoline.

Our original plans of pulling the trampoline ropes down to the floor and pinging her onto the stretcher or cutting them and dropping her onto the stretcher were dismissed as liable to lead to a complaint. (I jest)

Off the trampoline and on the floor we were able to get her onto a spinal board, then the stretcher and into the ambulance. I kept talking to her throughout the operation.  Its quite scary strapped to one of those things. All you can see is the ceiling and up peoples noses and you are really helpless.

We left her at casualty and talking about it afterwards we discussed the techniques we used on both this job and the previous one.

We've decided therefore that we are going to specialize in this sort of thing. If you need somebody off a trampoline, send for us.

A specialist trampoline extracation team if you like. And everybody seems to be a practitioners these days, so we're going to be Specialist Trampoline Extracation Practitioners (S.T.E.P)

That should be good for a Band 7 post at least. (Agenda for Change Joke)

Today has been a wasted day. No, maybe thats a bit harsh. We've done four jobs today and only one of them was in any need of an ambulance.

First off to an old lady. "Nose bleed last night. Now coughing up blood" was the message we got.

We let ourselves in. She is sat in her favourite chair with all her bits and pieces round her happy as anything. Understandably she was a bit perturbed  when stange men burst into her home. We explained who we were and she was quite happy to see us although confused why we were there.

As were we. There was no sign of any nose bleed (tissue paper etc), no splatter in the toilet. She said she hadn't had a nose bleed and was feeling fine.

We never did get to the bottom of why we were there. It seems that she had been talking to someone at the careline and for what ever reason they decided that she needed an ambulance. They then lied about what was wrong with her so an ambulance would visit.

Hopefully our control will have a word with them to make sure it doesn't happen again.

But I doubt they will.

Then off to a man lieing asleep at a bus stop. Needless to say he was very drunk and he told us he wanted to go to hospital. He got a bit shouty on the way but generally was behaving. We took him and left him in the "walking wounded" area.

As we were leaving we saw security escorting him from the premises. Obviously he had stopped behaving.

Then we went off to a young man who was driving out in the country. He saw a deer in the road, missed it but drove up a bank. It was his dads car and was now on its side.

He was in some pain but otherwise was very lucky.

About 3.30 the heavens opened. Of course thats when we got called to a drunk teenager in the park by the river. She, and her very drunk friends were sitting in the rain and our patient was completely out of it. She had to go to hospital because she was very cold and unconcious. Her friends went home by way of the police to what I'm sure will be a very warm welcome.  

The world, or at least my part of it, continues to baffle me.

Its been raining. You might have noticed. While we had an initial scare last week, we seem (touch wood) to have survived the worst of the flooding. I wasn't working so I stayed indoors and looked at the puddles.

Today, and yesterday, the theme appears to have been, you've guessed it, urine. Is it beacuse people haven't been drinking enough or what but everybody seems to have a urine infection.

Yesterday the first job was a 30 year old who had a raging temperature and was feeling pretty rough. We walk in and she is wearing at least 3 layers of clothes and a duvet and is shivering. I must appear a really heratless b*stard beacuse I opened the window and pulled the duvet off her (gently).

I explained that the best way to get her temperature down was to cool her down and I think she got it. I hope she got it. We left her at home to keep taking the antibiotics. The problem there is that antibiotics don't work straight away. It usually takes anything up to 3 days or more before you start to feel better.

Then back to base to be regaled by stories of people driving ambulances into puddles that were a bit deeper than they thought.

Then to a job that got all of us very confused. A responder was there all ready. He had been given the job as a hypoglaecemic diabetic patient. That means that she had low blood sugar. He had managed to get her blood sugar up to an acceptable level but she was still completely out of it. Totally unresponsive.

We arrived and she was lieing in her bed with a fixed stare to the right and her hands in a very contorted position. Looking at her we all thought that she had had a stroke, and quite a major one at that.

But no. Got her into hospital and the doctor did his stuff. Urinary tract infection. 

Old people. They'll always try and fool you some how.

The garage door on base is broken, again. Someone drove into it, again. Its going to take months to fix it, again. Because its made in Germany for some reason 

Two jobs of interest today.

One this morning. We got it as a DOA (dead on arrival). And indeed he was when we got there. The house was sheltered accomodation for people trying to kick drugs and it looked a very nice place. We were met at the door by the manager. He had a very familiar glazed expression on his face. The look of someone who has seen something he can't really belive.

We went upstairs to the mans room, which was very tidy, and he was on the floor. Cold, stiff and blue. There was a needle and syringe by his hand and over in the corner was a spoon and lighter and another syringe. On the wall was a certificate saying he had been off drugs for several months. It looked as if he had fallen off the wagon in a big way. Why? I don't think We'll ever know. A shame

And then, in the afternoon, to a job that was bizzarre and good fun in equal measure.

I know its not fun when someone gets hurt, but....you'll see.

So we get a call to a man who has run himself over with his own car.

Cue puzzled looks and off we go. We are met by the usual detachment of bystanders. One woman who seemed to spend all her time sprinting around and other people milling about. We were pointed in the direction of the incident which appeared to be in a garage. For some reason, that we never did find out, there was a man standing on the roof. I half expected him to raise a spear or gun in the air and give a victory cry.  Up we went and found the guy. It turns out that he had parked up and had got out to open the garage door. He thought the car was in park and the handbrake was on. Neither was true. As he opened the garage door the car crept up behind him and pinned him against the wall.   

He was in a lot of pain as you might expect. My crewmate got busy putting a needle in his arm and I went to draw up some Morphine, getting our stretcher in position and calling control to get Trumpton (the firebrigade) out.

Cos BMW's are heavy.

As I put the phone down they came screaming round the corner. Bloody hell that was quick.

They got their inflatables out and put them under the car. We gave him the morphine and prepared to pull him out. They put the pumps on and the inflatables, ..er.. inflated.

The car raised off the guys leg and we pulled him out.

Incredibly he hadn't broken anything but his ankle was very badly bruised.

He was a very lucky man and was feeling really good because of the morphine, his wife was tremendously relieved and gave him a big hug. We did a job that was a bit out of the ordinary and actually helped someone.

And the firebrigade? They did a brilliant job and I'm sure their P.R. department will have already swung into action putting their spin on the incident.

"Fire Brigade Saves man Trapped under Car." will be the headline or something similer  

Dear people,

I hope you will take time to read this letter.

If you are in pain or not feeling well then we will do our utmost to help you, after all thats why we are there, thats why we do the job.

But when we have put our own lives at risk to reach you in as quick a time as possible and you tell us to "F* off" when we reach your side then thats not really acceptable. Do you think it is?

Afterall, do you tell your postman to f*k off? Do you threaten to kill the man who reads the gas meter ? Do you spit at the woman who is on the till at the supermarket ?

No ? Didn't think so.

To be honest we are starting to get a bit fed up with the situation as it seems to be getting worse. We treat you with respect and all we ask is that you treat us with the same respect.

Would you put up with it in your job? So why should we?

If you take a swing at us, or threaten us it won't get you treated any quicker. We know what we are doing and we do it in a certain way for a very good reason. All it will get you is, at best, ignored. Or, at worst, a visit from the police. 

Let us do our job.

If you don't want us, don't call us. Its that simple. As I said before we are here to help you but there is always someone else for us to help.

Yours

Emmbee
            

I should have twigged when I saw the statue of a naked 6 foot woman.

We got called to a 35 year old woman who had had diarhoea and vomiting for 24hrs. She hadn't seen a doctor or anything sensible like that so was feeling pretty grotty.

We arrived at the bungalow that was fairly new by the looks of things. In we went. This is when the naked statue jumped out at me.

We made our way to the womans bedroom, my crewmate nudged me in the back. I was focused on the patient so didn't really notice what he was going on about.

We decided that the woman was going to hospital so we waited outside till she got herself together.

And my crewmate pointed out what I had missed:

The assorted rough looking women in the house

The assorted spanking implements on the table in the corridor

The "Rude" art

The naked statues (more than one)

The fact that they were all in nightclothes

The picture came clear.

We were in a brothel. Cor Blimey!

It just goes to show. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors

I hurt. Both my elbows feel like they are on fire. I suppose you could call it tennis elbow, but as I don't do tennis a better name would be CPR elbow.

Yes. We had another dead person.

"Fallen from the toilet, hit head", was the message we got. On our arrival we found the lady at the top of the stairs, unconcious. Her husband was sat there holding her hand. She was breathing, although not responding at all. We put her on some oxygen and did the usual battery of tests. Her blood pressure was unreadably low.

She started to come round a bit and managed to tell us that her tummy hurt. This could mean a number of things that could have happened.
 
We had to get her down stairs and on to the ambulance. Logistically this would be difficult. Initially we tried a carry chair to get her down. But sitting her up caused her to pass out. This was looking serious.

My crewmate came up with a good idea. What we did was to slide her downstairs head first on a special canvas sheet we carry. It was very undignified and I apologised to her husband about this but it was important that we keep the blood flowing to her brain.

A struggle but we got her downstairs and on to the ambulance and checked her observations again. Her heart had stopped. I started chest compressions immediately. The reading of her heart rhythm meant that we couldn't shock her. My crewmate was putting a tube down her throat so we could breath for her.

The next job was a needle in her arm for drugs. This done we gave her some adrenaline to try and get her heart started again although it wasn't looking good.

I continued with chest compressions and my crewmate went to break the news to the family. We got the husband in the front of the ambulance and off we went. I don't like having relatives in the back when things like this are going on. Two reasons, one selfish, one not. Firstly relatives can be very unpredictable and I don't want to have to think about them as well as the patient, and secondly CPR is quite brutal and undignified. I wouldn't want to remember my relative with a hairy ambulance technician jumping up and down on their chest. Would you?

She didn't survive. The hospital stopped within fifteen minutes of us getting her there.

A shame. She had had 70 odd years of good health and then bam!  

Yesterday was not fun. Although one job summed up ambulance work quite nicely.

Picture the scene: A busy roundabout, heavy, heavy rain, traffic whizzing past our heads, us on our knees trying to get a methodone fuelled cyclist onto a spinal board. He had been cycling the wrong way round the roundabout and had been bumped into by a poor young girl who had just past her test. He was fine although he was pretending to be unconcious.

Anyway today was better. It started with your typical drunken pole. He had fallen asleep in the doorway of a burger van. They very quickly got fed up with stepping on him so called the police. The police don't do drunks anymore so they sent us instead. We took him to hospital to sleep it off. He was very, very, very smelly. And he snored

Later we got a call to a small hospital in another town. It is one of those hospitals that is mostly for elderly care. Mostly staffed by nursing assistants they are ill prepared if something goes a bit askew.

The message we got was that there was an elderly lady who was cyanosed (Blue in the lips) and not talking.

We bimbled up there. Now my crewmate and I have nearly 20 years experience between us so one of us had to say it.

"She's gonna be dead" I said

Sure enough. We got there to find the nursing staff and our responder doing CPR on the lady. As my crewmate is a paramedic he was able to get the needed drugs in her veins and put a tube in her throught to help us to help her breathe.

It was all going very well. Really good CPR was being done by us all (we were taking turns because its really tiring). But we knew that she wasn't going to come back from this.

And then her heart started beating again.

Bloody hell. Lots of surprised looks.

It didn't stay beating for long but we managed to get it going twice more before we got to casualty.

She didn't survive. In a way I'm glad, because her brain had been without oxygen for a long time.

The nurses did really well and should be proud of themselves. They gave her a chance for life which, if she had been stronger, might have been enough.

As for us, it made us feel more worthwhile about what we do. We did our jobs, and we did them well. Instead of picking up drunks and taxiing them to hospital we made a difference. A small one, but a difference nonetheless.

Thats why we do it.