Why do I do this Job

The last night shift. Fortunatly things had calmed down a bit and we were just busy rather than stupid, smoking tyres, dehydrated and hungry busy.

Theres been a slightly disturbing run of jobs involving things, erm- below the belt line. If you get my drift. I won't go into details but will just say that there are some things man is not meant to see.

Anyway. Last night, or rather early this morning, we were hot footing it into the dark and rainy country side to a woman who had alzheimers and had pressed her emergency button saying she was in pain. Living on her own she was obviously in discomfort but other than that we had no idea.

The information we got was that she had dementia, was deaf, poor mobility and was catheterised. No clue but it would be a challenge.

We got there, let our selves in making lots of noise and turning on lights. I've found its the best way. The last thing that an old dear who isn't feeling very good needs is to see me suddenly loom over her out of the dark. After all we are supposed to make people feel better.

She was in the front room, in bed. We asked what was wrong and she explained that she was very uncomfortable round the catheter.

Catheters are a bit out of my normal remit but nothing ventured.
 
Hers was a two stage setup. She had a bag that was strapped to her leg which stayed with her day and night. At night this was attached to another (bigger) bag into which it was supposed to drain.

We checked the leg bag which was full. Not just full but FULL. The night bag was empty. Resisting the urge to dive for cover in case of explosion we turned the valve between the bags

The leg bag emptied. The night bag filled (alarmingly quickly). The old lady had a bit of a Strongbow moment.

She felt a lot better, not suprisingly. It looked like one of her carers had forgotten to turn the valve and she had been filling up since about 5pm the previous evening.

We left her at home as I was pretty sure we had sorted her out but I thought a check up by a GP might be a good idea. The GP disagreed.

Never mind

So there we were. At the bitter end of a really busy night shift, standing on a cold and windy river bank, trying to keep the rain out of the bits where rain wants to go.

Why?

We were looking for a man who may (or may not) have jumped in the river.

We were getting to the point of the night where you are just begging control to leave you alone. We got a call to a small town to the north. A security guard had seen someone dive into the river and hadn't seen him come out.

So we were there. With thousands (Possibly) of firemen, and thousands (possibly) of policemen, and two (deffinately) of us.

The police helicopter was making a large amount of noise as they circled, looking for a heat trace.

The fire brigade boat puttered about up and down looking for this man who may (or may not) have jumped in the river.

We stood around. There wasn't a great deal to do untill (if) they found anyone.

Time passed. More noise, more puttering. I think the helicopter people got bored because they went off somewhere. The police on the ground were asking around and quickly fastened onto a lead. They started ducking in and out of tents and voices were raised in some of them.

Then a chorus of "Found him"

He was in a sleeping bag and fast asleep.

Then we all went home