Why do I do this Job

Performance art

2009-04-13T01:54:22+02:00

There is a road in our town. A very busy road. Famed for fast food, drugs, prostitutes and house clearers. If you were trying to drive down it tonight I'm sorry.

Well, I'm not really, but......You'll see.

Emergency call said car versus pedestrian. It also said that the pedestrian couldnt speak English and he was complaining of an ankle.

An ankle what? We werent sure. This is becoming more evident. The call takers are under so much time pressure these days to get the details of the call down that sometimes the grammer and spelling can be a bit.......eccentric.

Anyway, we got there and found a man lieing in the middle of the road. Bystanders were everwhere, being remarkably well behaved for this area

He was Polish and had had a drink but he was pleasant enough. His friend was a bit upset but was translating well.

His leg was where it hurt. Scissors out, jeans cut, lump in leg. That looked broken. It was definately broken a few minutes later when he waved it about.

We all winced.

People kept wandering up to have a look. You can deal with them in one of two ways. Either give them advice regarding sex and travel or ignore them. I was going for the second at that time

Anyway we got him loaded on a van and took him to hospital. Driving past the miles of traffic jam that we had caused made me smile

Just a bit

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Parachute not included

2009-03-21T02:07:37+01:00

Gravity has been a problem today. 10 jobs and 3 of them were falls. Old ladies who for what ever reason had started a journey that ended on the floor.

Except one.

Warden controlled flats. The warden had gone home for the weekend. We got in to the flat, calling as we went. She called out from the bedroom.

In we went and there she was. Lieing on her stomach, on the bed, with her feet wedged against the wall. She looked for all the world like she had been skydiving

Obviously She hadn't but thats what it looked like. I'm still not sure how she got into that position but we rolled her onto her back and got her to her feet.

Easy.

She hadnt hurt herself so we left her at home

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The ever present danger

2009-03-18T10:41:07+01:00

The biggest danger; one of the biggest dangers of my job is contact with other peoples bodily fluids. Yesterday was a very near miss.

We went to see an old chap who wasnt feeling very well. Initially we didnt get much information as he was staring into space and his wife, how can I put it, had difficulty focusing. Anyway while I struggled my crewmate was getting on with some basic obs.

The reason for him being unwell became clear. He had a very low blood sugar. It then transpired that he was diabetic.

We started on the sugary drinks because we both think that its less traumatic than sticking a needle in someones vein. 2 went down easy and I was starting to think that everything was going well and we might be able to sort it out there.

Drink 3 went down and then came straight back up again.

He was sick, although that doesn't really do it justice. He was Exorcist sick. It shot across the room, almost reaching the window. It was a bit like a scene from The Matrix, you know, where the camera pans round the action really quickly.

There was no warning, he just opened his mouth and out it came. I was sitting next to him and my crewmate says that its the quickest that she's ever seen me move.

We then decided to give him some sugar in the vein and this worked well. He became a lot more focused and we discovered that he had been sick before. This was obviously why his sugars were low.

We took him in. Hypo's I normally leave at home but this time beacuse we couldnt guarantee his sugars wouldnt stay up we couldnt take the risk

And yes we both escaped untouched.

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Death thy name is Tree

2009-02-01T21:12:07+01:00

I've been working with Ceebee again today which has been brilliant.

We got a job, an RTA, on a road that is quite well known to us at our ambulance station. It is about 10 miles long and is an old Roman road so is very straight with a few kinks in it.

People tend to get a bit carried away on the straight bits and don't see the kinks. Anyway we went to this job. We've both been in the job for a while and we were pretty sanguine about what we were going to. To paraphrase it was going to be a non injury job or something a lot worse.

We came to the scene and both said, in unison, "Oh F**k"

The road bent round to the right after a long, fast straight. Unfortunately the car hadn't followed the road and had carried on straight. Hit a sign, knocked it over. Hit a post, knocked it over. Hit an oak tree and hadn't knocked it over.

We both got out hurridly and went to have a look.

To put it bluntly, the car was trashed. Inside was a single man. He was trapped by the engine, which had been pushed into his lap, the door which was wrapped around his side and the roof.

Struggling in we discovered that he wasn't responding at all. He was breathing though. Oxygen on, airway in and check for a pulse.

Bugger. There wasn't one.

We were on our own. Two technicians. No paramedics, no firebrigade, no police. And we couldnt get him out.

Bugger again.

Then people started to arrive. The firebrigade arrived and we got them cutting. A paramedic arrived and he took over care of the patient, trying to get intravenous access.

Talking to the firebrigade it would have taken about three quarters of an hour to free him. By this time he had stopped breathing as well.

He was dead. Reluctantly we decided to leave him be.

I don't know his name. I know nothing about him but somewhere, someone was waiting for him to come home.

And he wasn't going to.

Comments

I really hope thats gravy on that plate

2009-01-30T21:32:07+01:00

Overtime today. Ive done a lot of overtime this month cos I need the money.

Anyway, off to a village to the south of our patch, its virtually on the border with another county but we cover it. The message we had about the job didn't make for good reading and we both had the feeling that we would be jumping up and down on the old chaps chest before the end of the job.

Elderly, alchoholic, grey in colour, not responding, shallow breathing. Not good.

A responder car and a community responder had beaten us there. We walked in, or tried to because it was only possible to open the door a wedge due to the amount of rubbish in the way.

We walked into a scene that I have seen more often than I think is proper in this country. Dust lay inches thick on ornaments around the room, rotting food lay on the floor, full an half full bottles of alchohol surrounded the old chap in his chair. He was small deshevelled and breathing heavily into the oxygen mask that had been placed on his face. His clothes were of indeterminate colour. Under the chair were plates that were filled with a brown liquid.

The reponder told us that the chaps blood sugar was about 1.3. Normally an adults will run at about 4.5. We couldnt get a blood pressure or a pulse in his wrist. He was very cold. He was very unwell.

The responder was a Paramedic so he was trying to put a needle in his arm so we could give him fluids and sugar.

Talking to the district nurse who had found him we discovered that he hadnt been out of the chair for at least three weeks. Literally he hadn't moved in three weeks.

He needed to be in Hospital. How to get him out? A surprising amount of this job is logistics and we conferenced to try and work out a way.

A carry chair was got (by me) and the others cleared a route from his chair to the ambulance. Now wether we'd disturbed something or what I don't know but the smell hit us.

A chorus of strangled coughs.

The brown liquid in the plates wasn't gravy. He was absolutely covered in something very unpleasant. It had soaked into his clothes and into the chair and dripped onto the floor.

The smell was now overpowering but we needed to get him onto the ambulance. We needed to lift him onto the carrychair. I, feeling charitable, voluteered to lift his legs.

His trousers were undone and there was the remains of a cigarette in his pubic area. It had obviously dropped there while lit, ironically the only thing that had stopped him catching fire was the dampness of his clothes.

Lifting him onto the chair was initially quite hard as he was stuck to the chair. After we had freed him the state of things became more apparent. The chair was rotten.

We rang the hospital to let them know we were coming and hot footed it. The smell was making all three of us quite sick. I was the luckiest because I was driving. The other two were looking quite green by the end of the trip.

We got him there. He didnt die. But I don't think he'll be going home again.

That is a sad story. That man has been left alone for far too long and has been failed by social services because it didnt happen quick. We see things like that on almost daily basis so how do we deal with it?

We laugh about it, we make bad jokes about it, we talk about it, we tell our colleagues about it and we remember. Whenever we meet again we will have that, and jobs like that, as a shared experience.

Thats how we deal with it.

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The horde of the Pringle king

2009-01-22T15:07:47+01:00

1 am. Dark, wet, quiet. Apart from an ambulance on its way to a male fitting.

Thats us by the way.

We get there and struggle, as is so often the way in council developments, to find the house.

Someone appears out of the dark, "IN HERE." he shouts.

"Ok", says my crewmate

"HE'S FITTING,"

Bags grabbed we indicate to the man to lead the way. We head under a low arch and up some stairs that are full of junk to a room and a semi naked man lieing on the floor (Not fitting).

"I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. SO I PUT A PILLOW UNDER HIS HEAD"

"Is he epileptic?" asks my crewmate.

"WHAT?"

"IS HE EPILEPTIC?"

I'm putting oxygen on him at this point. He is showing all the signs of being post-ictal. This is normal after a fit, sort of the brain rebooting itself

The other man, who is very deaf, is shuffling about so we give him something to do which is writing down all the fitting guys details on a piece of paper. He picks up a leaflet and writes things across the print. The result is completely illegible so we send him off to do it again.

Oxygen on its just a waiting game really. I take in the room and it is very cluttered but what really stands out is that it is full of tubes of Pringles. Hundreds of tubes of Pringles. Flavours I've never heard of, flavours I have heard of. Hundreds of tubes. He was obviously a collecter.

The deaf man reappears.

"Is this a council place?" asks my crewmate

"WE USED TO BE UNDER SOCIAL SERVICES BUT THEY BEAT HIM UP SO WE LEFT. I'M HIS CARER"

Trying to shake off the image of a social worker standing over him with a bloodied clipboard shouting "Give me some Pringles" we change the subject.
"How often does he fit?"
"EVERY DAY"
"He has a fit every day?"
"YES"
"Did he have one yesterday?
"NO."
"What about the day before?"
"NO."
"When he fits does he have one or more than one"
"JUST ONE. HE NEEDS TO GO TO HOPITAL TO BE CHECKED OUT"
"We know whats wrong with him. He's epileptic"

Anyway. This arguement was going round in circles but the guy who had fitted had come round enough to say he didnt want to go to hospital so we left him there.

Comments

Theyre all mad

2009-01-22T01:59:36+01:00

We were sat on cover at the hospital. We had had coffee and I was considering toast when control decided I didnt need any and gave us a job.
"RTC. One male. Rollover. Possible entrapment" and then the address.
The road was litterally 30 seconds away from where we were and was a quiet residential street. So a rollover was unlikely. But I've been wrong before
And was again.
We got there and found. Chaos.
A car on its roof. Glass, oil, rubber all over the road.
We could see a pair of legs sticking through on of the broken doors. They were wiggling about so obviously whoever was in there was still alive.
I got on my knees to have a look.
Inside the car was an old chap hanging from his seat belt
There was an odd whistling noise coming from somewhere.
"You all right mate?" I said. No answer so I shouted it. He fiddled with his ear and the whistling stopped.
Ah. Hearing aid.
"Yes fine. I can't get out" he said. The drivers seat was blocking his way.
"Whats your name"
"Ted" We'll call him Ted
"Ok Ted. We'll get you out"
My crewmate had got the boot open and it provided a perfect escape route.
Ted didnt want to go out of the boot. He wanted to go out of the door an no amount of cajoling from us would change his mind.
At that point the cavalry, in the shape of the fire brigade turned up. We unleashed them and they made short work of the seat. Ted was free.
He had no pain and no injuries and his speed was quite slow so we were happy to walk him to the ambulance.
We gave him a quick MOT while the police cordonned off the area and the fire brigade made PR announcements.
My crewmate did his blood pressure and I could tell from her expression that something wasn't quite right.
Teds blood pressure was sky high. (260/86 if you're interested). It turns out it was usually very high because he was a diallysis patient but we weren't happy to just let him go home. We took him to casualty so they could keep an eye on him
So, what had happened? It was a combination of partially defrosted windscreen, dark road, another parked car and angles
And luck of course

Comments

A new start (maybe)

2009-01-22T00:42:41+01:00

Seven months have passed since my last post. Things have settled down a bit at work. The ECA issue is sorting itself out, mainley because the management have realised that having a group of people on ambulances who are not allowed to care for people was possible not the best idea in the world.
I've got a new crewmate. She is very laid back and We are having a laugh.
And most importantly, I feel a bit happier and more comfortable than I have for a long time.
So, I'm going to start blogging again. I don't know how often its going to be.
But for the first time for ages I actually feel inspired to write things

Comments

Ahhhh!!

2008-07-08T17:10:13+02:00

The last night shift. Fortunatly things had calmed down a bit and we were just busy rather than stupid, smoking tyres, dehydrated and hungry busy.

Theres been a slightly disturbing run of jobs involving things, erm- below the belt line. If you get my drift. I won't go into details but will just say that there are some things man is not meant to see.

Anyway. Last night, or rather early this morning, we were hot footing it into the dark and rainy country side to a woman who had alzheimers and had pressed her emergency button saying she was in pain. Living on her own she was obviously in discomfort but other than that we had no idea.

The information we got was that she had dementia, was deaf, poor mobility and was catheterised. No clue but it would be a challenge.

We got there, let our selves in making lots of noise and turning on lights. I've found its the best way. The last thing that an old dear who isn't feeling very good needs is to see me suddenly loom over her out of the dark. After all we are supposed to make people feel better.

She was in the front room, in bed. We asked what was wrong and she explained that she was very uncomfortable round the catheter.

Catheters are a bit out of my normal remit but nothing ventured.

Hers was a two stage setup. She had a bag that was strapped to her leg which stayed with her day and night. At night this was attached to another (bigger) bag into which it was supposed to drain.

We checked the leg bag which was full. Not just full but FULL. The night bag was empty. Resisting the urge to dive for cover in case of explosion we turned the valve between the bags

The leg bag emptied. The night bag filled (alarmingly quickly). The old lady had a bit of a Strongbow moment.

She felt a lot better, not suprisingly. It looked like one of her carers had forgotten to turn the valve and she had been filling up since about 5pm the previous evening.

We left her at home as I was pretty sure we had sorted her out but I thought a check up by a GP might be a good idea. The GP disagreed.

Never mind

Comments

Tales of the Riverbank

2008-07-06T07:32:49+02:00

So there we were. At the bitter end of a really busy night shift, standing on a cold and windy river bank, trying to keep the rain out of the bits where rain wants to go.

Why?

We were looking for a man who may (or may not) have jumped in the river.

We were getting to the point of the night where you are just begging control to leave you alone. We got a call to a small town to the north. A security guard had seen someone dive into the river and hadn't seen him come out.

So we were there. With thousands (Possibly) of firemen, and thousands (possibly) of policemen, and two (deffinately) of us.

The police helicopter was making a large amount of noise as they circled, looking for a heat trace.

The fire brigade boat puttered about up and down looking for this man who may (or may not) have jumped in the river.

We stood around. There wasn't a great deal to do untill (if) they found anyone.

Time passed. More noise, more puttering. I think the helicopter people got bored because they went off somewhere. The police on the ground were asking around and quickly fastened onto a lead. They started ducking in and out of tents and voices were raised in some of them.

Then a chorus of "Found him"

He was in a sleeping bag and fast asleep.

Then we all went home

Comments

Going underground

2008-06-23T19:53:59+02:00

I've been in the air, on the water, on the ground, very close to the ground but intill now i've never done a job underground.

Thus it was we found ourselves in a very damp cellar under Specsavers. We were called to back up another crew to assist a man who had possibly fallen down some cellar steps. I am not, repeat not going to make any "should have gone to Specsavers" comments. As he was completely unresponsive we didn't know if he had but we had to go on that assumption.

Getting there, we saw the other ambulance, but of the crew? No sign.

I was just getting on the phone to find out where they were when one of them appeared covered in white gunk. We followed her down into the aforementioned cellar. It was so damp that the walls were sticky. As I discovered to my cost.

The patient was lieing in a heap moaning gently. Now we had to get him out. Fortuneatly we had a special piece of kit with us. Basically its a rigid stretcher that you can strap people to.

He was fixed to it and we struggled him out. The street outside was very busy and two policemen had wondered by to see why there were two ambulances parked up with noone in them. As we emerged from the opticians a look of comprehension dawned on their faces.

Off he went in the other ambulance and we cleaned ourselves as best we could.

Later that day....

"Cardiac arrest". Off we went arriving at the house quite quickly. We were being backed up by one of the supervisors from base as my usual crewmate was on holiday.

We got there. The house backed onto a large cemetary

In we go, fully loaded. To see the dead person sitting up, smiling gently and humming to herself.

Her sister, who had called us, explained what had happened.

"She was praying and she just collapsed. She made a horrible screaming noise. I think she's possesed"

"Oh. Ok"

I looked back at the patient to see if her head was going round or if pea soup was putting in an appearance.

No to both.

The supervisor appeared at this point and we explained that the woman was possibly possesed. He left quite quickly. So he could laugh outside I think.

The womans nephew had asked to have a minute or two alone with her and what ever he had said to her had brought her round.

We had a little chat, did our paperwork and left them to it.

Two thoughts occur. Either she had fainted or she had actually died and was now possesed by an unquiet spirit.

As we left there was a horrible screaming noise, as two cats had a punchup next door

Comments

An odd day

2008-06-05T19:34:04+02:00

We were wandering about in the eastern reaches of the town when we got a job. As is the norm we didn't know what we were going to initially

The details came through as "A woman unresponsive" and that was it.

Ok, that could mean anything. Anything from dead to sleepy.

We arrived and were shown into the womans room. She was sat there with her partner and had the familier wide eyed stare of the diabetic having a hypo.

"Is she diabetic?" was the first question that my crewmate asked. He was obviously thinking along the same lines as I was.

She was.

So what had happened?

The partner became everso slightly evasive.

"Well, She just became unresponsive,"he said.

"So what caused it do you think?" my crewmate asked as I was taking a blood sugar reading. It was very low.

"Well, we were messing about."

"What do you mean?"

"We were having sex,"he finally got out.

There are any number of responces to this. None of which we made but all of which we said in the ambulance afterward.

Anyway, we fixed her and left her at home, feeling slightly embarressed

Later in hospital I passed a side room in casualty to see some doctors making balloon animals.

There is a good rule of thumb that says if you think the job is going to be bad it won't be and if you think it won't be it will be bad.

A good case in point tonight. We got it as "2 people hit by a car. One lieing in the road. Irate caller. Helicopter and officer also attending"

We knew the road and it wasn't a quick road but maybe control knew something we didn't.

Off we went. Got there some time later, it was a way away. The officer had beaten us to it. One casualty who had broken her foot. Painful certainly but could have been a lot worse

Comments

Everyones a doctor

2008-05-02T01:59:09+02:00

"Emergency call-woman fitting"

Off we went. Got there quite quickly as it was just round the corner. We were met by a woman holding a baby and she showed us in.

Straight through to the bathroom where another woman was lieing on the floor. Her husband was there and he told us what had happened. From his discription it did sound as if she had, indeed, had a fit.

We did a few tests which came back normal. We gave her some oxygen and waited. After people have fitted its quite normal for people to be confused and sometimes agitated. All you really want to do is sleep.

All she wanted to do was sleep on the bathroom floor. The trouble was, it wasn't her bathroom floor. It wasn't her house. They'd only come to look at the house with a view to buying it.

The more we tried to get her out, the more physically and verbally stroppy she became. This is normal for people who have had a fit but must have been quite upsetting for her husband.

She demanded to know who the other woman was and what she was doing there. We got her outside, on the ambulance and by the time we got to hospital she was back to normal. Just like someone flicked a switch.

We saw her a few hours later and she was really apollogetic.

Comments

A Warm Welcome

2008-04-20T04:08:50+02:00

The first half of the shift started quite quiet. We were on base for a while and then got sent out on cover. We never actually got there though because we got a job. As is becoming the norm these days we didnt get anymore details than the address. As we pulled into the street there was a man jumping up and down.

"Do you think thats the address?"

He saw us and started windmilling.

"Yep"

We pulled up and got out and were greeted with, "We can see the head"

That'll mean its a.....

Up stairs we go to find a young woman lieing on the bed in what was obviously the final stages of labour. Between her legs was the amniotic sac. Her waters hadn't broken but were bulging and the contractions were coming every three minutes.

Ok. We're doing this here then. I got on the phone to get a midwife to attend and my crewmate got the maternity bits and pieces ready. The widwife was about fifteen miles away and would be coming at normal speed (they don't give them blue lights unfortunately).

This was really down to us then.

The contractions were two minutes apart and the bulge was getting bigger.

Then it burst and her waters broke.

Baby was coming. The head started to make itself apparent. We made soothing noises, because there wasn't a great deal that we could do untill the head appeared.

The head appeared and we cleaned the gunc off. The rest of the baby followed quickly and we attacked it (not litterally) with towels. The longest ten seconds ever and the baby cryed.

Yes.

All went well, dad cut the cord and baby tucked into her first good meal. The midwife turned up about ten minutes later and pronounced everybody well.

Unfortunatly we had to take mum to hospital as she had torn herself a bit but she won't be in for long.

A nice job with nice people. My crewmate and I were all smiles for a while afterwards.

Comments

The most unpleasant feeling in the world

2008-03-28T21:24:38+01:00

So there we were at my house on cover. Since I've moved we can use my house as a coverpoint. It's a bit better than sitting in a rat infested carpark.

We were sent off to a three year old who had been suffering with a bit of toncilitus and a sore throat. Unfortunately his mum gave him some popcorn to eat. As you can imagine this didn't go down very well, in fact, it didn't go down at all. One bit got stuck, he coughed it up and up it came with a big glob of blood. Mum saw this and panicked and called us.

He was fine though, well, he wasn't fine, he wasn't very well. But he wasn't any iller than he was before. A tiny scratch on the back of his throat which has probably healed all ready.

Then off to a chap who had just come into the country from visiting abroad. He was diabetic and hadn't eaten all day. Needless to say he got home and had a hypo.

He had been ill abroad and was still feeling under the weather. We filled him with sugar and he seemed to come round a bit so we decided that he needed to be in hospital.

We got him as far as the front door and he was sick, exorcist sick. I reached for the nearest available bowel and held it under the flow. Now he wasn't a good shot and most of it went over my hand. Warm, wet and lumpy it was one of the most unpleasant feelings in the world. I had gloves on but even so...

Then the rain came down, mother earth smiled again.

Sorry. Cars started crashing on the motorway. We got sent to a 5 car RTA which, when control got a better location, turned out to be on a different carriageway from the one they thought. We shot past it and before we got there were stood down. Non injury. We drove past it again but a bit slower this time. Then when we got to the next junction we got turned round to another job which was in the direction we had come from. Drove past the RTA again. We got there and were stood down and then went back again. Drove past the RTA 4 times in all

Then to a woman who had had a headache for two weeks. She had been involved in an RTA a few weeks before hand and had a whiplash injury. I would hazard a guess that that was something to do with her headache

Again there was a dark room with an odd smell. I didn't enquire what was in there.

Comments

Karma

2008-03-25T10:44:43+01:00

So there we were, sitting on base. A fairly quiet night up to that point. The radio opened up and we got the call that everybody dreads:

"Maternity call"

It was in a small town a bit north of us that we also cover. Off we went, not happy.

On the way we got a message on our computer thingy. The birth was imminent.

We looked at each other: "Oh, bugger", the ambulance sped up a bit. Luckily the local responder car was ahead of us but not by much.

We saw his car as we entered the town. Pulling to a stop we headed in doors to find him with the mother. The birth was indeed imminent and the baby was crowning.

Righty-ho then. We all got busy. Baby was eased out, cord was clamped and cut and a full set of observations was done on mum and baby. We had asked for a midwife to attend but she was coming from about twenty miles away and they don't give them blue lights

All was well and good and now we were just waiting. Waiting for (a) the midwife and (b) the placenta. Didn't know which was coming first.

About half an hour later we got the answer. The placenta was the winner. Unfortunately it slithered down between the cushions on the couch. We retrieved it ok though.

Anyway, mum and baby are both well. We left them in the care of the midwife. A good job all round

At the other end of the shift came a job that in many ways was the opposite. A woman called us to her husband who was not at all well. Very low blood pressure, wheezy and not really with it. He was 91 but still, he wasn't well.

It was one of those jobs where, if you are the driver, you walk in and walk straight out again. The reason you do that is that this person needs to be in hospital now. If you have a couple of experienced people, as we were tonight, the other person will be checking on the person and making him ready for travel.

Got him on the ambulance and got his wife in the front with me. We chatted on the way about not very much. Me trying to keep her mind off things.

I would be surprised if he survives, to be honest. He has had a good innings though.

The night was balanced. We helped someone into the world and probably eased someones passage out of it.

Karma

Comments

The Lottery

2008-03-24T07:17:34+01:00

Well, I played the crewmate lottery again today. Wasn't sure who I'd end up working with for the night but lo and behold it was my regular crewmate.

First job of the night was to a 35 year old woman. She told us she had had a miscarriage the previous morning. She hadn't called anyone or gone to the hospital because she didn't have enough money for transport or any credit for her phone. Whether she had had a miscarriage or not I don't know but as it was her eighth pregnancy I think she was in a place to know.

But what really gets me thinking about these sort of jobs in these sort of places is the bizarre domestic setup. I'll walk you through it.

We were met outside the flat by some spotty herbert in a baseball cap. He shouted at me because he thought I was going to back the ambulance into his car that he had abandoned in the middle of the road. That put me in a good mood.

In we go. Past the whitegoods on the stairs, past the open bags of rubbish. Up the stairs, past a room full of ten or fifteen children ages two and up. All of whome were crying. Past the empty fishtank, past another room that was quiet and dark but had a very strange smell coming from it. Up more stairs to a room with a double bed and mattress (origenal colour unknown). Our patient was lying on the bed. Four other adults were also in the room. As soon as we walked in three of them lit up cigarettes. What, if any, relation they were to our patient and to the thousands of children downstairs was impossible to say.

And then a strange thing happened. I've seen it many times before and i still don't understand it. All the people other than the patient started telling us what was wrong with them. Almost as if they were jealous.

The rest of the night consisted of drunk teens, stomach aches that had been going on for years and lots of sitting in carparks.

Then we got a call to a young man who had tried to kill himself. We soon arrived at a very posh neighbourhood of one of the posher areas of the county. A very big house and two young brothers. Mum and dad were away and they had been drinking. Our patient had been depressed, He had tied a mobile phone charger cord round his neck and jumped out of a bedroom window. Needless to say, the cord broke and he landed in some bushes in a heap. Completely unhurt. Now the police were there as well, for many reasons, and they had managed to find a large bag of something herbal which caused a bit of an upset.

And that, as they say, is that. So far anyway.

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Well... I'm back

2008-03-12T22:10:48+01:00

Which are the last words spoken in The Lord of the Rings, if you are wandering.

I've moved house and had nearly a month off. Which was stressfull, knackering and restfull. In that order.

Whats new? We've got new uniforms. These are the interim uniforms. Between the old uniforms and the new uniforms that we are supposed to be getting next year. I must say, however, that they do look good. A lot tidier than the romper suits that we used to wear. As usual the issueing of the uniforms did not go to plan. A lot of peoples came a completely different size to what they asked for.

When they did arrive and people started to wear them, the stitching gave way, in spectacular style. After a days wear my, and a lot of other peoples, crotch stitching failed.

I don't think that crotchless uniforms was the look that they were trying for.

Today has been an interesting and fun day. I was working with someone I hadn't worked with for a long time and it was very nice. Feet have been a problem for two of our patients.

The first was a lady who was 100 years old. She had Parkinsons disease but still lived alone. She had help come in but basically coped for herself. We were called because she told her carer that she had numb feet.

The carer was very much of the opinion that we MUST take her to hospital. Now when someone says that to me it really gets my back up but we had a little chat with the lady and took a few basic observations. I tickled her feet. They weren't very numb.

We got her to her feet and she bimbled about her flat. She seemed ok, apart from being old. We asked her if she wanted to go to hospital. She gave us a withering look.

"Oh. No", she said. That was good enough for us. We left, pausing only to arrange for a GP to come and see her later.

The next person with feet problems was the complete opposite in many ways. A 15 year old girl at school.

She had had a panic attack, pain in her neck and no she was saying that she couldn't move her legs.

Hmmm. Sounds unlikely, we thought. Nevermind. We treat everyone as ill until we can prove otherwise.

Off we went to the school. We were met by a bystander at the gate. And she showed us the way. We left her behind at one point. It wasn't really a fair race. She was on foot and we were in an ambulance.

Got to the patient. I got my crewmate to tickle her feet this time. She reacted like I hoped she would.

She hadn't had an accident or a fall so there wasn't any damage. We chatted for a while. Then we sat her up. All well and good. We got her to bend her legs, which she did. We stood her up.

Lo, We made the lame walk.

Healing hands you see.

I think that it was a combination of the panic attack, an ongoing back problem and a bit of attention seeking.

We left her with her dad and left everyone else pondering the miracle we had just wrought.

Walking down the stairs on the way out we were passed by two women teachers. After the second one passed us I looked at my crewmate, she looked at me.

"Did She just fart?"

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Sshhh!

2008-02-01T20:30:11+01:00

Listen. I can't hear it. I think its gone away.

I think, I think things are back to normal. We still don't get much time when we're not doing anything but its not as crazy busy as it has been for the last few months. I hope this isn't just a blip on the radar but we'll see.

The sun has been shining today, which was nice. It always seems to help my mood when the sun comes out, maybe I have a mild form of S.A.D.

Anyway. The rota changed at the begining of the week and we now have a load of new times to start. Unfortunately one of them is six in the morning. I don't care what they say, getting up at 4.30 in the morning is not right. It's practically yesterday.

I haven't been with my normal crewmate this week because the ECA's have finally arrived in force. I might write more about that in the future but at the moment I'll just say that my objections remain unchanged.

We backed him up today at a chestpain today. But as per normal it wasn't that easy. A 70 year old who was quite fit and well, went swimming at least twice a week. She had no cardiac history at all.

She had felt a bit dizzy and had gone to lie down. Then she had got all sweaty and her chest had got tight and her vision had greyed out. Now this all says that her blood pressure had dropped for some reason. But why?

We gave her a full MOT witha n ECG included for good measure.

There was a bit of interference on it (you get that if the person moves) but it said that she was having a heart attack. We did another one, that said she wasn't having a heart attack. We did a third and that also said she was having a heart attack. But throughout all this she remained the same. Indeed after the third one the chest tightness went as well.

So had she or hadn't she? We took advice from one of the ECP's and he said that it could be Coronary Artery Spasm. Basically what happens is that one one of the arteries to the heart cramps, and constricts. Blood flow to the heart muscle is restricted (temporaly) and the symptoms are the same as a heart attack but dissapear within minutes.

She had it again on the way to hospital but we got her in with no pain. We left her about to have an angiogram so hopefully they'll sort her out.

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Heads you win

2008-01-22T21:26:03+01:00

And I'm moving house, which is the other reason I haven't posted much.

Anyway. A theme day again. Heads. And stomachs to top and tail it

Crack of dawn and we were zooming across town to a woman with abdominal pain. She had had it since about three in the morning and had been vomiting and pooing for England.

Luckily one of our ECP's followed us up and he managed to sort her out at home

That free'd us up to go to our first head job which was an RTA

Daytime stop-start traffic. A woman with baby in the back of the car. Ambulance (Ironically) in front of her. Baby cried, she turned round, traffic in front of her stopped, She didn't.

Very slow speed impact, and minimal damage to either vehicle

Problem was, she wasn't wearing a seat belt. We get there and there is a lovely star shatter pattern on the windscreen and she has a thumping headache.

She didn't have any pain in her neck so it wasn't too bad. We took her and baby in. Baby proceeded to try and eat the inside of the ambulance but hadn't quite finished the suction equipment by the time we got to hospital

Then to a couple of CVAs (strokes). They were either end of the scale as far as strokes go. The first chap was completely unresponsive and the second one had a slight tingle in his hand.

Then to a chap that had had a bike accident a few weeks ago and had been having headaches since. He was probably ok but you never know.

Then to the second stomach pain of the day. This one was a bit different. She had had this pain for seven years on and off. And today had had it since three in the morning (again). She hadn't taken any pain relief, because she "couldnt be bothered". The doctor had been called but would be an hour or so. She decided she wanted a scan so called us.

We took her in and that was about that for the day

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Honour amongst thieves

2008-01-14T00:18:05+01:00

I haven't written much since new years, I know. Basically because there hasn't been much to write about.

We spend a lot of time queing at hospital and there hasn't been anything interesting in the way of jobs

Anyway. Sunday afternoon we get a call to a road junction in the town to a man vomiting in the street. Drive we past it and there is nothing to find. We get back on to control to tell them this. Unfortunately they call the people back and we are pointed in the right direction (Which is nowhere near where we were sent. But such is life)

A man appears who has featured in this blog before. He is an IV drug user and he had OD'd outside KFC. He looked at me a bit funny when we turned up and announced that he knew me.

"This is true my friend", I thought, "I have saved your life when we last met"

He points us in the direction of an underground bin storage area where this vomiting man is.

No sign of any vomit but there is man asleep on the ground.

I wake him up and we have a little conversation about whether he wants to go to hospital. He doesn't, but he was very wobbly and having trouble staying awake. His pupils are tiny. He had obviously been taking heroin in some way although he denied it. Apparently he was just very tired.

Yeah right.

The "Good Samaritan" insisted we take him to hospital. We pointed out, for the fifty million billionth time in our careers that we can't just snatch people off the street. He got the hump and left.

Anyway, long story short, we got him on the ambulance, gave him some Narcan in the arm, to get rid of the effects of the heroin that he hadn't taken.

He came round a treat and discovered that his wallet was empty and his mobile phone had been nicked.

So, the moral is, if you want to render yourself comatose, do it somewhere secure where drug addicts can't get at you

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Happy new year (V)

2008-01-01T16:14:55+01:00

Conclusion.

Well, that was our new year. An interesting night although not as madly busy as we thought. Looking back I think you can lay all or most of the blame for the incidents on alchohol.

That was just the highlights. The rest was the usual mix of drunks, fights and old people falling out of bed.

Roll on next year.

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Happy new year (IV)

2008-01-01T16:07:49+01:00

Part III

A Cross Country Jaunt

Later we got sent to a car that had crashed into a wall. The bystanders said that someone was trapped inside and the car was smoking. It was about fifteen miles away though so it was going to take us a while.

Off we went. The fire brigade were going, and the police and another of our vans was going. They were a bit short of equipment which is why we were going. They were going to placate the great god Orcon.

Well, we arrived. Our colleagues were there, the fire brigade were there, the police were there but no patient or car.

He had driven off. Fortunately for the police and unfortunately for him he had left one of his number plates behind, together with most of the front of the car.

The police would be paying him a visit.

Ha Ha.

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Happy new year (III)

2008-01-01T15:53:23+01:00

Part II

The Battle of the High St or I fought the law and the law won

We had just dropped the first drunk of the night off at casualty and were clearing down for another job.

You know whats coming sometimes. The mobiliser sort of pauses on the radio before giving out the job; I think its because they read the job before deciding whether to send a particular crew to it.

They sent the job through. It was a double stabbing and two of our officers were on scene already.

Our first thoughts were that there was a potential for something serious but it didn't sound too bad.

Off we went. Arrived about three minutes later to be met with a war zone.

We pulled round the corner. Twenty or thirty police cars, Police with riot shields walking as a wall, vans, hundreds of people milling about.

And we were in the middle of it.

Bloody hell!!

We kept going. One of our officers was signalling so we went to where he was.

Stopping. I was almost pulled out of the vehicle by some hysterical woman who shouted that a) her friend was dieing and b) that she was filming us. She ran off so I never did find out any more than that

Apparently what had started as a pub brawl had escalated into a near riot. Why? No idea.

A couple of people had been stabbed, one had run off and the other was in such an angry state that the police had arrested him. Judging by the noices coming from the police van he was in no danger of dieing any time soon

Another guy had been hit round the head a few times, He was about the most sensible person there. Sat in one of our cars he was just waiting peacefully.

We took him in. The others had gone somewhere or were in no fit state to be transported so we left.

Little did we know that a good chunk of the crowd were also making their way to hospital. We got there and they were all in the waiting room.

They had brought the fight with them, which was fun.

Casualty's waiting room was full of about thirty people fighting, police, police dogs, armed police. The receptionists, who did a sterling job, were getting the other people clear.

Our guy was on his phone, speaking to someone, trying to get them to calm down.

Calm prevailed, eventually.

Next: Part III Driving across the countryside for not very much.

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Happy new year (II)

2008-01-01T09:56:17+01:00

Part I

Jim

They knew him as Jim. He used to go to the pub regularly and was always friendly, good for a chat.

He thought that as it was new years eve he would go and see the new year in with his drinking buddies.

The night went well. They all sank a few. It was a good night and midnight was only a few hours away.

He needed to pee. That was ok though, he had had a few.

He was standing there, chatting about betting and......

"Collapse query cause- possible Cardiac arrest"

We were there within four minutes as we were just round the corner. Several worried looking people were in the car park waiting for us.

"I think he's dead mate"

We followed him into the pub, into the gents and there was Jim. On the floor. He was dead.

We got busy. My crewmate started with a tube down his throat. I put the defib pads on his chest. His heart wasn't beating at all so nothing to shock. We started CPR. As we were so close to the hospital we decided it would be best not to hang around so we got him out to the ambulance as quick as we could. His drinking buddies helped us with our kit. We got him on the bed and plugged him intoi the oxygen and other bits and pieces.

"What are his chances mate?" said one of them.

"Not good," I said

"Thank you for being honest," He shook my hand.

We headed for hospital. They called it soon after. Nobody knew his name.

Talking about it afterwards we both decided that it wasn't a bad way to go. He was with his mates, he had had a few drinks and it was quick. Better than a long lingering death I think.

Oh yes. I wondered why the toilet was so urine free on the floor. Either the men were really good shots or...

I had knealt in it. I spent the rest of the shift smelling of wee. I don't think anyone else noticed but I did when the cab heater was on

Next: Part II - Where we come face to face with the law (and a few other people)

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Happy new year (I)

2008-01-01T09:26:05+01:00

Intro.

Its 8am on New Years day. The drunks still roam the streets. Roaming about, trying to walk in a straight line and grunting at each other and those of us unlucky enough to be sober. Sort of like mans early ancestors, they are struggling to find their way home.

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Fog

2007-12-23T08:43:47+01:00

Twas two nights before christmas and all through the town.....it was foggy. Very foggy. But the strange thing was it was lieing in banks. You could walk twenty feet in one direction and you could go from a real peasouper to clear air.

The police were forecasting a really busy night but for us at least it didn't really materialise. We were busy but not stupidly busy.

Anyway, last job of the evening. We got sent to a "Granny down". I forgot, we're not supposed to call them that anymore. Off we went, through the fog. I thought I saw a pirate ship on the river but I wasn't sure. Soon we arrived at the address, we had been given a code for a keysafe in which were contained her door keys. It turned out her keys were under the doormat so I don't know what the code number was for.

We let ourselves in and found the lady on the floor by her bed. She was desperate to get off the floor. She insisted she didn't have any pain.

We made ready to get her off the floor. Looking again, we noticed her leg. Her thigh had a sort of step in it.

Oh dear.

She had obviously broken her leg when she fell. The bone in the thigh is called the femur and it is a big bone. When it breaks it (usually) causes a lot of pain and is quite difficult to fix.

The standard procedure for a braek like this is to splint the leg and put a bit of traction on it to pull the bone ends back together.

The problem was that we were not paramedics so we needed one to give the lady some morphine so we could move her.

We waited. I went out to the ambulance to get bits and pieces. And fell over. It was icy underfoot. I got the bits and slid back to the house. I asked her if I could nick some of her table salt and went a'scattering.

The cavalry arrived at this point

Long story short we got her to hospital with a minimum of discomfort. Throughout the whole operation she didn't complain at all. Didn't wince and didn't make a fuss. I doubt that she will go home again as she was pushing ninety but I may be wrong.

Lovely lady but a real shame

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Big Game Hunting

2007-12-13T21:09:00+01:00

A day of oddness, quieter than has been usual

"Woman savaged by large cat. Wound gushing blood"

Wow. Off we went. The address we got was in one of the salubrious parts of town so it was unlikely to be a lion.

My crewmate was on the phone to control asking if we could have Steve Irwin as backup. I reminded him that he was dead so he asked for Terry Nutkin instead.

Help wasn't forthcoming. We were on our own.

I have quite a pictoral mind as you know and images were running through my mind. An old woman with a moggys jaws clamped round her throat: an old woman answering the front door with a cat hanging from her arm; a cat sitting on the roof with its prey (old woman).

We got there and I must say that it was quite sinister. Cats surrounded the house, laying in wait. For something.

It was like "The Birds"

And I swear one of them smiled at us.

Knocking the front door we were met by the womans husband. He was very apologetic and pointed us in the direction of his wife.

There she was sitting in the Kitchen with her leg up and a teatowel sellotaped over, presumably, the wound.

Good job by the husband, a bit makeshift, but it did the job. We cut it off to have a look. Tiny wound and it wasn't bleeding. We put a new dressing on it.

Later. One of the private crews that help us out (because its cheaper than paying people to do overtime) had broken down in the middle of one of the main roads into town. They had a patient with breathing difficulties on board and they were in the middle of a three lane road and it was rush hour.

We went to rescue the patient. It must have looked quite impressive. Two ambulances parked in the middle of the road. I had put the blue lights on to warn people we were there and Ambulance people wandering around in shiny yellow jackets.

It wasn't though.

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I give up

2007-12-07T19:27:04+01:00

A memo came out today. This is my responce:

Unilateral Declaration of Apathy

I, the aforementioned, being heartily sick of the headaches I am getting from banging my head against a brick wall, do state that:

I will withdraw from all staff meetings that require my input on new practices

I will no longer fill in any staff satisfaction surveys

I will cease to offer any suggestions that do not involve patient care

I will ignore any notes and memos that ask for my opinion

I will suppress any outbreaks of initiative that I suffer

I will follow all policies and procedures blindly

Because the management have proved, again, that they are not interested in any opinion that does not agree with their own, I will cease to offer any opinions, be they positive or negative

I will come to work, do my job, and go home. And thats it

Any overtime I do will be on my terms, when I want to do it and with who I want to work with. We'll see whose loss that is

Being of sound mind (finally), I Emmbee declare this.

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We know you know

2007-12-06T19:14:45+01:00

We got called to an RTA. As is becoming more and more common we didn't get anymore information than that. All we got was the address and that it was an RTA.

We arrived before the police and from the start things didn't smell right. For a start the road was a very small cauldesac. No car would get up to a great speed along there. Two men in builders clothes were standing up the road and another car was parked up on the grass verge. Three people were sitting in it .

So where was the crash then?

The Police arrived at this point. We went to talk to the people in the car.

They had called us because the husband of the family had hurt his head. He explained that the white van (which belonged to the builders) had run him over and he had banged his head on the windscreen.

He had no marks on him at all, no bruises or anything. We were immediately suspicious of his claims so we went to have a look at the van. It too had no marks on it. It hadn't been washed in a while and there were no scuff marks on, no marks on the windscreen where he said his head had hit.

There was something else going on here.

The police were wandering about, interviewing witnesses and checking the scene.

My crewmate took the chap into the back of the ambulance for a thorough check. I went to talk to one of the police officers

We indicated to each other that we had doubts about the veracity of the mans story.

He told me that several witness statements were completely different from what the man had us

We went back to the ambulance. My crewmate had confirmed what we both knew. The man was completely uninjured.

The policeman asked the man what had happened. He confirmed the story that he had told us. The policeman then told him that everybody elses statement contradicted his. His colleague joined us at that point and recommended that everybody forget the incident and go home.

Much blustering.

She then pointed out that if he wanted to continue then he, and everybody else would have to be arrested so they could be questioned under caution.

He decided to go home at this point.

It turned out that, allegedly, he was the aggressor and he had actually assaulted the white van. Road rage apparently.

He had tried to pull a fast one on us and the police, as a lot of people do, but we know you know

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